Hitting the reset button
One thing I constantly need to work on is vulnerability. I am not one to always show my emotions to the general public, however if you ask my close friends, they would tell you the opposite when I am speaking with them. There’s also other times when I am at my most vulnerable and it is actually when I am running.
When I ran my 2/3 half marathons this past weekend, I could help but be overcome with emotions as I ran past people cheering on the sidelines and watching the team members for Team in Training run with names on their shirts of the people who they are running for. In my own mind, I constantly think of where I came from and how hard I actually trained to run 13.1 miles. It was an unfortunate circumstance that I injured myself at mile 10 of the Nike Women’s Half. I broke down and cried as I hobbled the last 3.1 miles of the race. I crossed the finish line and made the bee-line for the medical tent.
I called my mom and one of my friends to tell them how crappy I felt. I was disappointed, not for the fact that my time was craptastic, but for the very fact that I trained and couldn’t finish with the awesomeness that I wanted to finish with. The half marathon I ran the week prior, I felt great, and now I felt crappy. Dang. I also wondered how on earth was I going to survive running a marathon for the fact that I started to feel pain at mile 10. I had so many doubts.
My friend Matt encouraged me to take a week off and to start over again with a new training plan. As a former cross- country superstar, he emailed me a training plan to conquer a full marathon. I thought about this for awhile, because at that point, I just wanted to throw in the towel.
As I was sitting in my hotel room, I read an awesome post by Dr. JPK, the woman who screamed at me to run faster during my first half marathon in Chicago. Julie’s Post, “Never Quit” , was jut what I needed at that moment in time. Julie talks about her struggles with running and how she has to keep starting over, injury after injury.
This quote “Sometimes in life we have to let go of one path to find another”, nailed it for me. When I got home on Monday, I decided to reset my mind and focus on things that I wanted to accomplish and thinking about how I wanted to make some changes in my life. I need to let go of the fact that I had a shitty race, that I gained 15lbs from the summer, and that I never actually took the time to discover new things in my new home. I need to find another path to be more successful in my life, and so, in part thanks to JPK’s post, I’m ready to hit the reset button.