Sitting around the bar last night – chatting with some colleagues and friends, we started to talk about what we were excited to do when we get back to our respective homes post conference. Things ranged from implementing things we’ve learned from said conference, enjoying sleeping in their own bed, and (in my opinion the best) eating a home cooked meal. But for the most part, the number one thing people were most excited to get back to someone they love, whether it be someone they are married to or in a serious relationship with – it was by far the most popular answer. But in my world – that is the one thing I dread most about going home – it’s the fact that I go home to nobody.
Now, I understand that this could somewhat be easily changed if I just put myself out there, but it’s not that easy given the location of my current residence, but it’s not like I haven’t tried, I’ve just come up empty. While my last relationship was 3 or so years ago – I’ve gone on some of the world’s most terrible dates – it’s kind of the worst. It’s symptomatic of the fact that I refuse to settle in an investment of a relationship where I am not willing to give and get 100%.
But I struggle: returning home from a week(ish) full of learning and filling my heart and soul – my extrovert is a glutton on the buffet line of information and relationship building – to basically an introvert’s paradise – a quiet apartment in a town where people think driving 10 minutes from one side of the town is a hardship.
In the town where I live, I fill the void of being alone (there’s a difference from being lonely) with activities such as running, reading, and going out to explore the great outdoors or spending time with those who I don’t have to basically buy their love in the form of coffee. I chat and text with those across the country who are willing to invest their time being silly and having some sort of meaningful conversation – even if it is about a TV show that I’ve never seen.
The fact of the matter is: it sometimes sucks being alone while most of your friends are in relationships. BUT, I am very fortunate enough to have people out there who I care about and would take a bullet for. I am lucky to have those folks who are willing to
take time out of their day to chat when I have an issue or need a reality check – those are my people. And even though I will be on my way back to the bustling metropolis of Bloomington IN in less than 24 hours where nobody will be physically there to welcome me back – just knowing that my people have my back is major key.